Monday, June 20, 2011

Mumbai - Exit Strategy

For most of you'll who have passed a premature judgement on my much awaited departure from Mumbai(India), thinking of this as just another dig at the "nothing-to-do" country with all kinds of super scandals, you may as well read the post once!

Now I havent been to 461551331497625761237613267216741 cities to say that Mumbai is not very live-able, but it would be blasphemous if the common eye fails to read that and still blindly follows the over-hyped "Mumbai Spirit", quoting " I <3 Mumbai" and other so called "patriotic" slogans. I totally fail to understand why people are not very conducive to this idea, why do they not accept the truth?

Often I've been criticized as the one who just doesnt have any kind of feelings. A cold heart and guy with a opinion about almost everything. A guy who will point out the problems but will never give the solution. A guy who complains but is just not ready to take essential steps to make the change. A guy who has sense of belonging anywhere, at least not in Mumbai. Well I guess I took their piece of advice a bit too seriously, and am putting down some points for Mumbai, essentially an exit strategy from this breakneck life and clogged atmosphere!

1. Make Mumbai a Union Territory - Yes, it will be more expensive since Mumbai will have its own legislature, but ultimately it only helps to manage the city more efficiently. The smaller the group, the better the management. Most will argue saying we have so many scams and corrupt officials, it wont make a difference. Probably true, but atleast there is an increased chance of hope!

2. Shift the entire Industrial belt to outskirts of Mumbai - Expensive? Yes. Very much so. But in a bid of doing this, it will reduce the amount of trucks running into the interiors of the city, noticeably the southern areas where there guys thrive. An awesome option to decongest the entire city.

3. Shift the airport to outskirts of Mumbai - I guess this one needs no understanding or explanation. For others still stuck, catch a domestic flight to Mumbai sometime! Its a good way to test your luck!

4. I know most Mumbaikars thrive on the local trains. As they're known as the lifeline of Mumbai, running in the heart of Mumbai and all the other phrases that go along with it, most Mumbaikars(blind men) tend to forget that these Railway lines cause the maximum amount of traffic jams. Majority, as a matter of fact, 99% of the stations just have a 2 lane 2 way traffic bridges connected the eastern region of the suburb to the western region. And with the sudden onslaught of cars, this is only going to get worse. Believe it or not, its true!

5. Divert all incoming population to outskirts of Mumbai - Yes CST will lose its charm, bigtime. This will only help to channel the population in a much better and easier way. This will also decongest CST which may just make it easier to keep track of people and probably make better use of those Metal Detectors, which at present do not work!

6. Hike fuel prices to Rs 150/litre and Diesel to Rs 100/litre in the city. Most of you'll will hate me for it but this will reduce the car population and will encourage the use of public transport. Yea, public transport is not all that great, but time is of the essence here rather than comfort.

7. Ban paan.

8. Improve the coast guard - Get them lighthouse support. This is one of the most efficient ways to combat coastal problems, guess Qasab may just not have had it easier!

9. Use waterways - A guy from Dombivali bought a speedboat and reaches work in and around 20 minutes with utmost comfort. Guess that sums it up.

10. Build parking houses - Yes, once we have these with exorbitant parking prices, roads will get cleaner and traffic issues can be handled better with people not parking at places where they block most of the road.

11. Use forks for No Parking - Yes, you can get it broken at Kurla CST for 100 bucks after using a Stephanie, but who has two spare tires and rims at the same time?

I guess if these maybe implemented, we could see Hong Kong rising from the ashes in India! Cheers!