Dell Customer "CARE"

Well a few months back I had an unusual experience. Probably something totally out of the blue and you wouldnt really expect something like that to happen to you at 11 in the morning! But anyway it was a memorable one! I had been ignoring my precious DVD drive in my laptop and it was now time to call Dell Customer Care since I had a warranty! Woohoo! :P

So I get their number from the website and dial it from the phone! After some jazzy music a nice voice picked up on the other side! Now the voice didnt really give me the feeling that today's gonna be a nice day but yea surely I had different thoughts after the call! Anyway here's back to fixing my laptop? (Or was it just the reason?)

DCC - Hello this is ____________. How may I help you today? (I dont remember her name!)

Me - Good morning! I own a Dell Inspiron 15R and I have some problems with my DVD drive! Its not reading DVD's!

DCC - Surely sir, I will sort your problem out! Can I have your service tag please?

Before I could respond, Its at the back of your laptop right below the barcode on the left! I had never heard such detailed instructions over the phone before! Anyway I wasnt really into the phone call at the start!

Me - Its _______________.

DCC - Okay great! She plugs in the number and types stuff for a while! Okay sir, I see your laptop is in warranty but I see that your warranty is about expire.

Me - I know. Exactly why I called! :P

DCC - Sir we have some new plans that we could help you out with! There are monthly, one yearly and three yearly plans! The costs are ______________.

Me - Okay! I'll be shifting to another country in some time so I guess they wont be applicable then!

DCC - Where are you going?

Me - United States of America.

DCC - Oh! We have plans for that as well! She looks up stuff on her laptop for 30 secs and is like we have this plan, that plan! Goes on blabbering for 2 minutes! I guess her voice sounded good so I didnt say anything? :P

Are you interested sir?

Me - No thank you. I'd just like the DVD player fixed!

DCC - Surely sir I can help you out with that as well! (Wasnt that the thing I called up for?) Do you have the Dell CD's and DVD's with you?

Me - What? You'll sent stuff with the laptop? I have no idea!

DCC - Yes sir! Please check your packet! I'm sure its there inside!

I raced to the other room to look for the packet! Meanwhile as I was carefully taking the packet out,

DCC - This is the second time today! Even one of the previous customers had no idea that we had sent some CD's and DVD's with the laptop! I asked him to look for it and he couldnt do it! He had no idea where he'd kept the box! I'm glad that you found the package! (Probably there's an issue with the box guys! Do better visible packaging next time onwards!)

Me - Okay I have the pack with the discs in it!

DCC - Oh that's awesome news! Now we can be done with it very easily! Just take the Drivers and Utilities DVD and put it in the tray after pressing the button! (DUH!)

Me - Its not reading! (That's the problem you BITCH!!)

DCC - Oh okay! Can you please restart your laptop with the DVD on it and hit F8 when you see the start screen!

Me - Okay!

DCC - The start screen is the Dell logo with a progress bar below it! Please do it really fast so that we can use the DVD to boot up.

Me - Okay! I pressed F8 but nothing happened! Normal Windows just began all over again! I guess I missed it and I'll have to restart again!

DCC - Dont worry Mehul! I'm sure you'll get it in the next attempt. Its very easy!

Shocked! Okay that's too much for encouragement now! :P Anyway the laptop restarted and I pressed FN+F8 this time and voila! It worked! Okay I got the boot-up screen!

DCC - Wow! Thats good work! I knew you'd get it the next time! Please select the DVD-Drive now!

I pressed and Windows just started normally all over again! What a pain!

Me - Its Windows again!

DCC - No problem sir! I think your DVD drive is not working! (Precise what I have been telling you right?) Please try and insert another CD into the tray.

While I was doing this...

DCC - So where in the US?

Me - Shocked! Chicago!

DCC - Why?

Me - To pursue my Masters!

DCC - Masters in?

Me - Mechanical Engineering!

DCC - Oh that's great! Which university?

Me - University of Illinois at Chicago!

DCC - Oh that sounds so good!

Me - Do you know the University?

DCC - No! *facepalm*!

Me - Are you an Engineer?

DCC - Yes. Computer Engineering!

Me - From where?

DCC - MHSSC! Saboo? Fuck! *turn off*!

Me - Okay great!

DCC - Yes! Its from Mumbai University! (Like I didnt fucking know!)
Which college have you done your Graduate study from?

Me - K. J. Somaiya College of Engineering!

DCC - Where is it?

Me - Vidyavihar!

DCC - And where do you stay? (Dont you already have my address and phone number on the screen?)

Me - Ghatkopar.

DCC - Oh that seems pretty close to your college! Nice choice!

Me - So you're based in Hyderabad or Bangalore?

DCC - No, the call centre is in Mumbai itself!

Me - Okay!

DCC - Yea! We have a lot of centres all over India but all the traffic is usually diverted here!

Me - Okay! Good!

Finally my laptop loaded with the CD! Okay the CD seems to be working! The DVD isnt!

DCC - Okay sir we will give you a free replacement of your DVD drive.

For the next one minute she just typed in stuff, confirmed my address and scheduled an appointment to get my drive changed! So finally it was time to bid goodbye now!

Me - Okay! Thanks a lot for your help! Appreciate it!

DCC - You're welcome sir! It was a pleasure talking to you! I wish you luck with your life ahead in Chicago! I hope you have a successful life ahead! I hope I have solved all your problems with the laptop! If there is anything more, please dont hesitate to call us back and I will be there to help you! Thank you! Bbye!

Me - Thank you! Bbye! Have a nice day ahead!

DCC - You too have a great day ahead! Nice talking to you!

Okay now this was getting too much! We probably spent more time saying bye, rather she spent more time saying bye than scheduling an appointment for my DVD drive! I unfortunately had to press the red button on her! The whole episode sounded pretty horny to me actually! I've never come across such good Call-Centre employees! I always hoped she'd call me again! (Misuse my number actually!) :P I guess I'll have to wait until I blow another part on my laptop again! This time without warranty, so the expected call is scheduled longer! :P

Until then, that's how you take care, horny care! ;)

P. S. - Next time you're stuck deciding between Dell/HP/Apple/Sony/Lenovo/Acer,etc you know what the appropriate answer is! Cheers!